Wishcasting Wednesdays: How do you wish to sparkle?

I'm a day late for Wishcasting Wednesday. How do I wish to sparkle?

Geez, gads, crap. How can I sparkle when I feel like crap? I feel .....well, not worthless. I feel angry. I feel robbed. I feel selfish. I feel anything but bling.

It started yesterday. I visited my RA doc for fibro. He wants me to wean off Lexapro and then begin Cymbalta. Apparently, the side effects will be less.....thus, the weight will come off, I'll have less knee problems,less exhaustion,  ect.... I checked with my psychiatrist. He gave me a weaning schedule, which I began last night.

If anyone has weaned off SSRI's-you know how difficult it can be.I feel angry because it feels like I am in this river rafting journey ALONE. I want to isolate myself to not expose others to the weaning side effects. I want to run until I cry. I want to pound on someone's chest and say, "It's not fair! Why do I have to struggle? I'm a good person. I do good work. I am a good wife and Mother. Why do I have this illness? I hate it, hate it, hate it!"

Sparkle? Can I pretend I am a little girl again-dressed in the Princess Costume I never had? Can I wave my shiny, sparkly silver star shaped wand with the shiny matching flowing ribbons? Can I wear a cone shaped p;ink hat with silver sparkles and more flowing ribbons? Can I twirl and dance in delight?  Can I be in  the world of imagination and pretend-a world full of innocence, possibilities and air that smells like newly grown grass on a spring day?

Can I push and eliminate the awful, bad and horror in the world when I emerge from my Princess World. Can I receive respect when I demand people do things the RIGHT way? Can I whine and moan when I'm frozen, unable to cross the busy street as cars and trucks whiz by? Can I lay my head down and cry?

Will my tears turn into sparkles as they slide down my cheeks?