It's only Tuesday

It's only Tuesday and my body hurts. I have a heating pad on my legs as I type this entry. Yesterday, worked zapped me of much energy. Sunday, our bathtub overflowed and it caused water to flood our bathroom, bedroom and it flowed downstairs to our neighbors condo. We spent several hours cleaning up the mess in their condo. I still have things to clean in my condo. Yes, I can see why I am tired and feel some pain.

Gosh, sometimes I feel

Sometimes, I feel so lonely and angry. If you can see the title of my blog, you know I have a disease which limits my activities. When I want to do something, I have to plan my activities ahead of time. Doing this prevents a flare up. Why can't I live a normal life?

Right now, the birds are singing outside. It's quiet in my house so I can hear them, even with the doors and windows closed. They sound so happy and ready to greet the day. Listening to them sometimes puts me in a trance like state. It's another world, free of pain, exhaustion, loneliness and anger.

I want to do things. I want to ride my bike and go on hikes. I want to spend a day at the beach or go shopping at the mall. I want to take art classes and scrapbook. I want to engage in photography and clean my house. Any of these activities involves planning. I'd have to plan around my work schedule. At the end of the day, I don't have the energy to do anything else. It makes me angry.

I do escape writing letters to  pen pals and reading. If I want to chance more stress, I will become emotionally involved in world events. CNN is great for information.

I realize a negative outlook doesn't help my situation. But, there are times, like today, when my own private pity party is required. After a while, the party winds down and I have to pick myself up off the floor. I have to refocus on what I can do. I have to nurture my self.

Blogging helps to get my feelings out-even if it's the world. I know there are others who feel the same as I do. Extending an invitation to my fibro world extends a hand of comradship and support to others. They can wallow in my loneliness and anger with me. It doesn't last very long. I do get up and brush off the broken streamers and party favors. I take off my party hat and put it in a place where I can remember how I felt. It reminds me to slowly enjoy my life. After all, I am luckier than most people.

I just read Bin Laden is dead. Wow! My fibro will be okay today! The political events will occupy my mind. What occupies your mind away from fibro?