Monday, Monday

From the Mama's and the Pappas-changed for fibromyalgia.

Monday Monday, not good to me,
Monday Monday, it was all I didn't want it be
Oh Monday morning, Monday morning would guarantee
That Monday evening fibro would still be here with me.

That song is running through my head. It's depressing and let's me know the week ahead will be a struggle. Only if I let it. As much as I can, I take control of the fibro. The best ways:
1. Eat a Vegan diet.
2. Take medication on time-so I will fall asleep at 8pm
3. Learn to say "Yes" to everything that makes me feel better. (This means saying NO to everyone else.)

I read read about a member on a message board, who is frustrated with the amount of time it takes for the doctors to get their act together. In my experience, the member is correct.

Also, in my experience: YOU HAVE TO BE INFORMED about the fibro. What's the secret? Research and ask. Do not dispel any new diagnosis.

Fibro is like a jigsaw puzzle. You, with the help of your doctor, put it together-usually creating the frame of the puzzle. As time goes on, you have to fill the puzzle by connecting the pieces. Guess what? You are going to try to connect alot of pieces that do not fit. It stinks. Okay, it sucks!

Here are some questions to ask your doctor.  Fibro fog invades the brain-how can you remember the information the doctor tells you? Take notes during your visit.
Questions to Ask Your Doctor

Another link to share:
Top 10 questions to ask your doctor about fibromyalgia.

Copy and paste these questions from the websites. Put it in your fibro notebook. Don't have a notebook. Purchase one with a place for copies of your medical testing paperwork and a place to take notes. Add a calendar to keep track of your appointments.

Monday doesn't seem so bad anymore. Yes, my pain medication has kicked in.

1.	How do I know I have fibromyalgia?
2.	Are there medications I can take? What side effects can I expect?
3.	Are there any drugs, foods, or activities I should avoid?
4.	What exercises can I do to ease my symptoms?
5.	What alternative therapies might help me?
6.	How do I explain my condition to friends, family, and colleagues?
7.	Are there stress management techniques (meditation, yoga, massage) that could help?
8.	Do you recommend counseling?
9.	Can you recommend a support group or chat room I could join?
10.	Are there any clinical trials I could participate in?

1.	How do I know I have fibromyalgia?
2.	Are there medications I can take? What side effects can I expect?
3.	Are there any drugs, foods, or activities I should avoid?
4.	What exercises can I do to ease my symptoms?
5.	What alternative therapies might help me?
6.	How do I explain my condition to friends, family, and colleagues?
7.	Are there stress management techniques (meditation, yoga, massage) that could help?
8.	Do you recommend counseling?
9.	Can you recommend a support group or chat room I could join?
10.	Are there any clinical trials I could participate in?

It's only Tuesday

It's only Tuesday and my body hurts. I have a heating pad on my legs as I type this entry. Yesterday, worked zapped me of much energy. Sunday, our bathtub overflowed and it caused water to flood our bathroom, bedroom and it flowed downstairs to our neighbors condo. We spent several hours cleaning up the mess in their condo. I still have things to clean in my condo. Yes, I can see why I am tired and feel some pain.

Gosh, sometimes I feel

Sometimes, I feel so lonely and angry. If you can see the title of my blog, you know I have a disease which limits my activities. When I want to do something, I have to plan my activities ahead of time. Doing this prevents a flare up. Why can't I live a normal life?

Right now, the birds are singing outside. It's quiet in my house so I can hear them, even with the doors and windows closed. They sound so happy and ready to greet the day. Listening to them sometimes puts me in a trance like state. It's another world, free of pain, exhaustion, loneliness and anger.

I want to do things. I want to ride my bike and go on hikes. I want to spend a day at the beach or go shopping at the mall. I want to take art classes and scrapbook. I want to engage in photography and clean my house. Any of these activities involves planning. I'd have to plan around my work schedule. At the end of the day, I don't have the energy to do anything else. It makes me angry.

I do escape writing letters to  pen pals and reading. If I want to chance more stress, I will become emotionally involved in world events. CNN is great for information.

I realize a negative outlook doesn't help my situation. But, there are times, like today, when my own private pity party is required. After a while, the party winds down and I have to pick myself up off the floor. I have to refocus on what I can do. I have to nurture my self.

Blogging helps to get my feelings out-even if it's the world. I know there are others who feel the same as I do. Extending an invitation to my fibro world extends a hand of comradship and support to others. They can wallow in my loneliness and anger with me. It doesn't last very long. I do get up and brush off the broken streamers and party favors. I take off my party hat and put it in a place where I can remember how I felt. It reminds me to slowly enjoy my life. After all, I am luckier than most people.

I just read Bin Laden is dead. Wow! My fibro will be okay today! The political events will occupy my mind. What occupies your mind away from fibro?

Wishcasting Wednesday: What do you wish to transform?

What do you wish to transform and how do you wish to be brave?

I skipped last week. I wasn't feeling well, I took all the energy I had to get myself into work.

I wsih to be brave while living with fibro. I began seeing an acupuncturuist last week. I also had a brief consulttion with a medical medium. I've had much better results with both than I have in weeks. The medical medium told me why I had fibro. I did more research and found astonishing results. My acupunturist agreed with the medical medium and also disovered some other areas of my body  not working like they should.  I still have more treatments  However, I felt much better in the next few days than I had in months.
 I began taking supplements.  Again, I am feeling alot better. I stayed up later 2 nights this  past week.

I wish to transform my body into one that works. Yes, to get through the day and to eventually do activities in my free time which I have energy to do.

Daily Entry: Tuesday

Tuesday.
3 more work days after today.

It's raining again. It rained all day yesterday. I'd love to complain but I can't. We desperately needed the rain. The pain......well, I'll focus on being grateful for the rain.

I figured out I was up too late on Sunday night. I didn't take my meds on time. Hence, I was up an hour longer than usual. For some, it's no big deal. For a fibromite, an hour is like 24 hours. We need to sleep.

I also ran out of my Nuvigal. It helps to lessens exhaustion. Yesterday, I didn't think I would survive the work day.
Last night, I remembered my schedule.
Home at 5pm.
Time with family and pets. 
Dinner at 6pm.
Meds at 6pm.
Computer until 7pm.
Take out Abby, our Jack Russell.
Reading until 8pm.
Ambien at 7:30pm.
Bed at 8:00pm.
Sleep: within 15 minuutes.

That's what I try to do during the work week. Tommorrow, it will change. I am trying acupunture.  I'll let you know how it feels. I used to get acupuncture treatments on a regular basis 8 years ago, before I was diagnosed.

Since, the exhaustion and pain are ten times worse. But, I am hopeful.

"The miserable have no other medicine
But only hope."
~William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure
Yesterday was hell.

Monday Daily Life

My back hurts.  That's the bad news. The good news-the rain is coming. Maybe for 5 days. We desperately need rain. We are in a severe drought. We need the rain to clean our environment.

I spent yesterday cleaning and re-arranging my craft/scrapbooking room and my kitchen.
The Obsessive Compulsive Behavior is rearing it's ugly (?) head again. My RA doctor is tapering me off of Lexapro-which my Psychiatrist prescribed for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder . He feels it might cause my excessive exhaustion. I feel a little less exhausted during week one of tapering. In 3 weeks, 2 days, I should be completely off Lexapro. My RA doctor wants me to go on Cymbalta. I am hopeful my Lyrica and Ambien, occasional pain medication and muscle relaxer will be enough for me. I don't like taking all of these medications. The good news: I keep losing weight as I taper off the Lexapro.

After my OCD cleaning spree, I took a hot, hot bath. It helped relieve most of the pain. My Jack Russell, Abby, has a small stuffed monkey that plays music that's addicting to the dog and nerve-wracking for the owner. Fortunately, Mr. Monkey had to be washed because he stunk! He came out smelling fresh and void of his voice. Abby didn't care.

She came into the bathroom and plopped Mr. Monkey in the bathtub. Off course he got soaked. I squeezed the excess water out of him and threw it for Abby. She flung Mr. Monkey into the air over and over. Then, she plopped Mr. Monkey in the bathtub again. I squeezed the excess water out and threw Mr. Monkey. Again, she flung Mr. Monkey into the air, then plopped him into the bathtub. Third time was a charm for Abby. She had to wait until Mr. Monkey was floating near the edge of the tub. After a few attempts, she pulled Mr. Monkey from the spearment, lavendar and eucalyptus bath water. A heavier Mr. Monkey, soaked with water, was again flung in the air over and over until she decided to drown Mr. Monkey again. For about a half hour, I kept an eye on Abby as I was reading a book. Her innocent game was delightful and full of joy.

I slept on a heating pad last night. When it turned off, I woke up every time and turned it back on.
After a hot shower, I am going to stretch. At work, I hope to walk around just enough to  make me feel better. After work, I am getting a deep trigger point massage. By that time, we should have rain.

I read this quote today. "Turn your wounds into wisdom."-Oprah Winfrey. As my back aches today, I hope I'll be struck with wisdom during a lightbulb moment. I'll let you know.

Wishcasting Wednesdays: How do you wish to sparkle?

I'm a day late for Wishcasting Wednesday. How do I wish to sparkle?

Geez, gads, crap. How can I sparkle when I feel like crap? I feel .....well, not worthless. I feel angry. I feel robbed. I feel selfish. I feel anything but bling.

It started yesterday. I visited my RA doc for fibro. He wants me to wean off Lexapro and then begin Cymbalta. Apparently, the side effects will be less.....thus, the weight will come off, I'll have less knee problems,less exhaustion,  ect.... I checked with my psychiatrist. He gave me a weaning schedule, which I began last night.

If anyone has weaned off SSRI's-you know how difficult it can be.I feel angry because it feels like I am in this river rafting journey ALONE. I want to isolate myself to not expose others to the weaning side effects. I want to run until I cry. I want to pound on someone's chest and say, "It's not fair! Why do I have to struggle? I'm a good person. I do good work. I am a good wife and Mother. Why do I have this illness? I hate it, hate it, hate it!"

Sparkle? Can I pretend I am a little girl again-dressed in the Princess Costume I never had? Can I wave my shiny, sparkly silver star shaped wand with the shiny matching flowing ribbons? Can I wear a cone shaped p;ink hat with silver sparkles and more flowing ribbons? Can I twirl and dance in delight?  Can I be in  the world of imagination and pretend-a world full of innocence, possibilities and air that smells like newly grown grass on a spring day?

Can I push and eliminate the awful, bad and horror in the world when I emerge from my Princess World. Can I receive respect when I demand people do things the RIGHT way? Can I whine and moan when I'm frozen, unable to cross the busy street as cars and trucks whiz by? Can I lay my head down and cry?

Will my tears turn into sparkles as they slide down my cheeks?